Some time ago Barb wrote to say how much she was enjoying the comaderie we were sharing on the Roots GPK blog and asked if she could join us. Not only did she join us, but she was also soon contributing some great Fun Stuff.Suddenly realizing I had better write to Barb and apologize for not using too many of her contributions lately, I gave her this URL.
In no time Barb replied with what I thought would be a great Letter of Support for the Victims. It is much more than that. You'll be very shocked at why she can empathize with our GPK Victims.
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November 10, 2006
Dear GPK Friends
I was molested by an uncle when I was three and again at six.
Even though I was so young and "it" only happened twice, I remember.
I remember what my uncle did to me and said to me. And even though it only happened twice, the incidents affected me and my entire life.
In a way it is amazing what molestation can do to a person no matter what the age, or sex, or how often it happens. And it is also amazing that even though you are only three years old, you know it is wrong. It's bad and you are afraid you are going to get in big trouble so you don't say anything, to anyone.
My mother knew something was wrong but couldn't figure out what. I don't know how she finally got curious about my time with Uncle Maury, but she did and eventually got me to tell her my "secret". Everyone in my family was told about my experience but no one wanted to believe what had happened.
Everyone was told I was never to go to his place again. However, three years later my aunt took me and my two cousins back to the farm and my uncle took me for a ride on the tractor. Back to the same spot he had molested me three years before.
I understood exactly what Bill was saying and someone else who told how the incidents are always with you.
This is something that always haunts you no matter how you try and forget it.
It affected how I raised my two boys. They were never allowed to go to the bathroom alone and had to go in the women's even when they were old enough to be embarrassed. But I couldn't allow them to go into a restroom alone. How did I know who was in there? And it only takes a couple of minutes to mentally and/or physically hurt someone.
I didn't really speak about the incident to anyone for many years. When I married I told my husband I had been molested but not the details. Not until I heard my uncle had molested two children he and his wife had adopted and also molested his granddaughter, who was under the age of three.
I was so enraged that I wrote the court a letter saying this man had molested me. The District Attorney called and wanted me to appear in court and tell my story. I now regret that I said no. I did explain to the attorney that I had never told anyone what had taken place nor was I able to at that time. I'm so sorry I couldn't do it.
Since then I have learned that I can tell people I was molested, but I am still not able to say what happened. I don't want it to all come back to me. I want to leave the actual actions in the dark. I am still not able to completely deal with what took place.
Thirty years later at a family funeral I once again saw my uncle. It had been so long since I had seen him, I didn't recognize him. He took my hand and said, "You don't remember me, do you?" When I said no he told me who he was. I felt like I had stuck my hand in an electric socket or something. It went from my hand through my entire body and I jerked my hand away and fled from the room. I never looked at him again and we left shortly after that. What an evil man he was.
I know this is taking a lot of your time up but please continue with this work. It's the most important work you might ever do.
May God richly bless you for all you are doing to make things better for these Victims.
Barbara Roney
Oregon
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Thanks Barb for being so open, honest, and caring about your new friends from GPK, especially sharing your own victimization at the hands of your perverted uncle.
You make many points in your letter than I'm sure every Victim can relate too, especially the lifelong attempt to forget and bury the actual sexual transgressions.
It is wonderful you are able to talk more openly about it now. More than one of the Victims has come back this week to say opening up has provided a lot of healing.
Even if there's no time to upload all your Fun Stuff on "Roots GPK" for now, PLEASE keep sending them to me. To be sure, the comic relief is extremely handy right now, like big time.
